Tag Archives: Politicians

Law of Shoaib Malik

7 Apr

Mohitoz’ Law #254
(Contributed by Ranajit Mukherjee)

Sania, yet so far.

Sania-Shoiab: no-balled?

The Sania-Shoiab saga (image courtesy: The Guardian)


First Law of Mayawati

15 Mar

Mohitoz’ Law #253

Monday-morning blues are for political opponents only.

Third Law of Mamata Banerjee

24 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #249

Just because I’m the Railway Minister, it doesn’t mean the Opposition can rail at me.

Mamata Banerjee, India's Railway Minister

Refusing to be derailed by the Opposition, Mamata Banerjee presents her maiden Railway Budget (image courtesy: http://www.ibnlive.com)

Law of Jairam

12 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #241

(Contributed by Ranajit Mukherjee)

Political pressures can make you look like a brinjal.

My Name Is Khichdi

11 Feb

Let’s get this straight.

The battle in Bombay (or Mumbai or whatever it is people want to call it) is not about a film. Or cricket. Or politics. Or Indianness.

It’s about money. About Lakshmi… irrespective of your religious beliefs.

Mr Khan needs a commercial hit because another Mr Khan showed that a trio of idiots could make more money than many other intelligent graduates.

He needs to remind India that his name is Khan. And, if you see him on TV, or are forced to read his retweets, you’ll realize he’s also reiterating his roots.

So is the maker of the film.

Not because they’re emotionally attached to Bombay or the film. But because they could get financially detached if the producers don’t recover their money.

It’s a good time to be a martyr, be it at a US airport or at one in UK: does it matter if body parts show up in x-ray scans (does size really matter?) though the authorities have rubbished this claim.

But Mr Khan is an honourable man. He claims he is here to entertain India and that’s exactly what he’s doing: with or without a regular release. Even if Bombayites don’t, the rest of India will see his film: don’t be surprised if all shows over the next weekend are sold out in other metros. And the Khaneratti go crazy trying to beat each other at status updates on F’book or Tweets. Suddenly, being the first to watch a film is more important than coming first in class or cracking a problem at work.

And, as though, we don’t have enough problems, our cops now have to guard movie halls. They’re more important than The Taj or the Gateway of India, it would seem. With strife of this kind, who needs the Taliban or the LeT: Pakistan is now trying to figure out what to do with its terrorists on the bench?

What’s worse is the complete khichdi between films, sports and politics. And commerce. There was a time when one sat in a dark hall, having suspended disbelief willingly to watch a character called Vijay beat the faeces out of evil-doers. Today, you can’t sit in the first three rows and probably have to carry your passport to get in anyway.

Is the film worth it – cinematically speaking? Is anyone even asking? Or will irrelevant hype give it four stars when the reviews are out tomorrow?

Somewhere, along the way, everyone’s lost the plot.

As for the roaring tiger, he’s clear: just because your name is Khan, it doesn’t mean you can.

And he seems to be thriving, unlike the ones in the real jungle. Pity.

Law of Shiv Sena

11 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #240

Khan can’t.

SRK vs Shiv Sena

His name may be Khan but, in Bombay, he can't (release his film, that is, without Shiv Sena's blessings)

Law of Rathore

9 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #238

(Contributed by Ranajit Mukherjee)

If you have too much cheek, someone will surely puncture it someday!

Rathore Attacked

Some cheek! (Photo courtesy: The Indian Express)