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“Sexy hogi toh…”

8 May

A college student gets off her father’s car and walks purposefully towards the Metro station, blissfully unaware that every auto driver standing alongside has turned to give her the once over. Her father can only grimace from a distance and pray that his daughter will return home unscathed.

A young lady waits outside a market, talking on her phone. Two policemen gawk at her unmindful of the chaos behind them as a motorcyclist hits a rickshaw. She knows she is being watched but can do nothing to avoid the stare of the very men who are meant to protect her.

Not too far away, three female friends emerge from a pub and are ogled at by every man in the mall – from the security guard to the parking attendant.

None of this is new. None of this is initiated by the clothes the women wear. None of it is restricted to just one city.

But all of it happens.

And it was brought to life outside the South Extension Market in Delhi last Saturday. I was waiting, impatient as usual, for the driver of a car to reverse his way out of an anarchic parking lot when a phrase caught my ear: “Sexy hogi toh nahin chalegi…”

That’s right. A male voice saying “if she’s sexy, then she won’t do.” I whipped around to see a stud in his late 20s, leaning against a car, drawling into a cell-phone. He would have been a driver or another blue-collar worker but was oozing arrogance in his attitude. For all I know, he must have willingly suspended disbelief while watching Vidya or Vicky and then connected their two recent hits in a warped way.

And he continued: “…agar khandan badhane wali hogi, ghar sambhalne wali hogi toh batana.” That is, “if she can carry forward the family (bear children) and manage the house, then tell me.”

You don’t have to be Sherlock to figure out that he was discussing a matrimonial relationship – either for himself or someone close to him (a brother perhaps). I was too stunned by his words to even take a photograph and couldn’t hang around to hear the rest of his conversation but, clearly, he epitomised the kind of man who would lust after a lady in public and then demand a demure, ghoonghat-covered wife in private.

Janus? Or just your average Indian male?

I still can’t get over that “sexy hogi toh nahin chalegi…”!

Fourth Law of Mamata Banerjee

2 Jun

Mohitoz’ Law #261

TMC now stands for Trounced Marxist Comrades.

(Earlier Laws of Mamata Banerjee are here)

Law of Shoaib Malik

7 Apr

Mohitoz’ Law #254
(Contributed by Ranajit Mukherjee)

Sania, yet so far.

Sania-Shoiab: no-balled?

The Sania-Shoiab saga (image courtesy: The Guardian)

First Law of Mayawati

15 Mar

Mohitoz’ Law #253

Monday-morning blues are for political opponents only.

Law of Naomi Campbell

7 Mar

Mohitoz’ Law #252

I can be in the driver’s seat even when I’m being driven.

Naomi Campbell: always in the driver's seat

Law of Bellydancers

19 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #247

Sailors will have a hip in every port.

Law of Rathore

9 Feb

Mohitoz’ Law #238

(Contributed by Ranajit Mukherjee)

If you have too much cheek, someone will surely puncture it someday!

Rathore Attacked

Some cheek! (Photo courtesy: The Indian Express)