Politely Rude

25 Jul

We Indians are a very politely rude people.

Unlike our friends in Europe or the Americas, who consider honking a form of motor abuse, we tend to go paaaarp at every opportunity on every road in every city. And why not? After all, every auto, taxi, truck and bus asks us to do very politely when they paint ‘Horn Please’ on their rears!

It’s not just vehicles but also men who will abruptly stop their smoking scooters by the side of the road, jump off, entwine the sacred thread they wear over their right ear and proceed to water a wall in full public view. They’re beseeched not ‘to commit nuisance’ but their logic is they aren’t anyway: in fact, mindful of religious sentiments and good moral upbringing, they perform the perfunctory task of keeping the thread away from droplets that might otherwise pollute it. A long stream, a vigorous shake, a furious wipe of the hands on the trouser and off we go! No nuisance at all!

Our women do likewise with their dirty laundry which they wash in public amidst gossip about who’s sleeping with who’s husband even as they beat their petticoats on smooth, wet stones – a cleansing of sinful thoughts? Will the washing machine ever come close to this communal confessional?

We’re happy to dine at expensive restaurants and spit right outside temples with a long, paan-reddened flow of sticky fluid spat out of two fingers.

And we’re equally comfortable defecating on railway tracks. Combing our hair in crowded buses, scratching armpits (and groins) before the same fingers lick yummy streetside chaat.

All this we do, without bothering anyone. So, why bother trying to improve our hygiene?

No manners please – we’re Indian 😉

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One Response to “Politely Rude”

  1. YehHaiLife July 25, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

    Depends on what your definition of polite is I suppose 🙂

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